Pressure Release

I have been fighting my yearly allergy induced sinus headaches lately. They get better when I take the decongestant, and then when I am feeling better I forget to take them. Today I went for the big stuff and picked up a package of "maximum strength." It's not a good time to find oneself with a headache no matter what the cause. *sigh*

I made a visit to the therapist today and found myself teary and rambling. All kinds of stuff just spilled out. I guess there's been a lot of stuff piling up. There it was all over the floor, but he didn't seem to mind, and honestly, I always feel better after a few tears, especially when they were unexpected.

I am slowly making my way through those two books I started reading. I put the "Live Saving Divorce" book down for a bit. I got to a point where I felt the need to digest before picking it up again. The evolution book has had my attention instead. I might be halfway through and might be farther along if not for the sinus games.

Tomorrow Rachel and I plan to visit Tim again. They say we can take him out for a ride.

Reading a Book, or Two

In my younger days I loved to read. I devoured chapter books, and then I had children, which leaves little uninterrupted time to concentrate on reading. In my adult years I read more non fiction, but when my eyesight began to deteriorate I found it too much work, not to mention a headache. Literally. However, in recent years I have acquired a small library of deep, informational reading. It's been a time of growth and exploration.

Two different friends introduced me to the books I am currently reading and digesting, both of them books I likely wouldn't have given a second glace ten years ago. Today I find them both fascinating and encouraging. I only wish I was better at retaining and relating the contents.

Both books are written by Christians and full of scripture, and yet they give a perspective unheard of in my youth. I never expected to find myself divorced. It was never an option in my opinion, and yet here I am and I pushed it through. I have a new understanding of a subject I honestly knew little about. I was probably a bit judgemental. Oh, how things change! And oh, how Jesus comes to rescue the broken.

I've not gone off the deep end, I promise. The second book is also full of wonder and encouragement. God is beyond understanding and His ways past finding out. This book isn't written to dampen faith in God, but to grow us in wonder. I am amazed to see the scriptures come alive in an entirely new way. I only hope my eyes and concentration hold out until I finish reading.

Bits and Pieces

It's late and I have to get up early again tomorrow, but it's been a week since I've posted anything so here I am.

* After not spending any time at the pottery studio for several weeks, I have now been thrice in less than one. I met a friend there on Friday evening and spent 3 hours playing with the clay I'd wedged up two weeks ago. I'm sculpting figures again. On Monday I stopped quick to uncover my work so it could dry completely, and tonight I made a return trip to play in the mud some more. My friend Myung was there again, and some other familiar faces as well. It was nice to see my friend Ginger who I haven't seen there in a very long time. In January I start a new hand building class and will make some more friends.

* I was slightly under the weather this past weekend, and after meeting my friend Laura for breakfast after church on Sunday morning, I went home to take a nap. I slept a whole 2 1/2 hours and then went to bed early to boot. I was asleep well before Idris. And then I beat him into bed again on Monday night. By Tuesday morning I was feeling all rested and well again.

*  I finished reading a book on Friday night. It took me a couple of weeks, but I can finally say I read the book I bought over a year ago and left on my shelf. It was just too much information to absorb at the time. The Body Keeps the Score is not an especially easy read, but it is full of fascinating information. I'm still digesting much of it, and starting a new book as well. Going with something different this time, but yet another book I purchased and left (mostly) unread. Desiring God by John Piper was recommended by a friend years ago. Perhaps my concentration has been off for that long...? Anyway, I am making a valiant attempt to use some of my downtime at work in a more constructive manner. While babies sleep, if they sleep, and all sleep at once, I read.

* Hannah and I took Idris down to the bay to feed the birds just before dark on Saturday evening. No bread, just a bag of canned corn. The seagulls were happy with our offering and the child was thrilled to feed the birds. I was happy to take pictures of my grandson and his mom doing what I used to do with my kids not so very long ago.

* The past couple weeks have been emotional. The book I read was difficult in ways I wasn't expecting. Although I am in a healthier spot emotionally than I was a few years back, I can still find the wind knocked out of me every once in a while. Sometimes the drive to work is teary as I continue to work through hard stuff and as I watch my family work through hard stuff as well.

* Thanksgiving is almost here. Bethany is hosting as well as Sabrina. I will be taking pumpkin pies to Beth's house and eating dinner there, and making a visit to Nate and Sabrina later in the evening. I am looking forward to the long weekend off work. Four day weekends are unheard of at the daycare, unless it's Thanksgiving, which makes Thanksgiving a little like Christmas!

Barber, Barber

Weekends are almost always busy and that is usually a good thing. Today, after church, Rachel and I went to visit our brother Tim. He's been back in his old house now for several weeks, back with the caretakers and residents who knew and loved him, and our parents, for many years. It's a beautiful thing.

Once in a great while either Rachel or I will take a picture along to jog old memories and help us find a connecting point with this aphasic brother of ours. Today I took a photograph of an illustration from an old children's book.

Barber, barber, shave a pig,

How many hairs will make a wig?

"Four and twenty, that's enough."

Give the poor barber a pinch of snuff.

The picture was one that Mom had often said Tim would stare at as a little boy. Today he glanced at it out of the corner of his eye, almost not wanting to take it all in at once... Rachel turned Dad's music on and soon this tender brother of ours was crying silently, sniffing here and there, trying to hold it together. Sometimes I feel bad when something I bring along evokes such strong emotion. I don't really want to make him cry, but it's good to know he feels deeply. There is a strange comfort in knowing we made a connection.

There were hugs at the door today when we said goodbye and when we pulled away in the car, he was looking out the window.
:0)

Mulling It Over

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Same verse twice in a week again. When they show up in multiples, my ears perk up. The mug came from my friend Karen on Thursday evening, January 12, and the same verse was the subject in the next morning's devotional. (I still love when that happens.) And that's just random.

The subject of Monday night's CoDA meeting was "recovering (or maybe discovering) intimacy." I find it to be another recurring theme. Hadn't I just posted two quotes from the book I'm reading to my Facebook wall?

"The soul craves more than only communication, it seeks communion."
and
"The measure of your willingness to be given- is the measure of your capacity for communion." 

We all crave deep connection and it is sadly elusive. I've been mulling over the connections between honesty, vulnerability, authenticity, and now intimacy (or communion). They're all connected and all something God asks of us. Hard stuff.

If you can stand it, and because I've been known to look backward at old blogs, a third recurring theme- The Apostle Peter climbing out of the boat to walk to Jesus in the midst of the storm. I'm all too often afraid to get in the boat, and once I'm in I certainly don't want to rock it. But Peter did something absolutely incredible! He gets out of the boat to walk to Jesus on the water, in the dark, in the middle of a storm. Apparently he suddenly has second thoughts and takes his eyes off Jesus, and that is when he starts to go down, recomposes himself and cries out, "Lord, save me!"

Those are my mulling spices this week. Maybe I'll turn into a spicy cup of hot cider yet.

Reading a Book

It was a lazy day. I got up later than ever and took a long nap this afternoon. Might have had something to do with the shivers and aches that have slowly invaded my body the past few days. A bit of rest, a cup or two of hot tea, some ibuprofen, and a good book were on the agenda. The book after I noticed a package waiting for me on the back steps.

I put in an order for Ann Voskamp's "The Broken Way" a few days ago and today it arrived...

"The same hand that unwraps the firmaments of winging stars wraps liniments around the wounded heart; the One whose breath births galaxies into being births healing into the heart of the broken."

This is a book that will leave me thinking, because Ann has a way of stirring up the heart and mind with her words. She comes with unrivaled authenticity, and her honesty sheds new light and fresh perspective on old truths.

Six years ago I bought a different book that started me on a journey which still effects me today. I started counting gifts, little gifts and big gifts. Gifts God gives in everyday life. Gifts I'd forgotten to notice in the distraction of living. Gifts that tell me He has not forgotten me even though I too often forget to notice He is there. Maybe I need a new notebook as well...

Reading a Book, or at Least Trying

It was a quiet afternoon on the farm. Martha settled onto the back porch settee with a book in her hand. The sun shined, the breeze was fresh, and there were no children to interrupt her reading...

Up onto the porch hopped one little black and white hen. She cocked her head curiously and gazed at Martha with one eye.

"Are you trying to get me in trouble?" Martha asked. But the chicken just stared silently back.

Martha made an attempt to ignore her feathered friend. She looked back at her book and hoped the silly bird would go back to scratching in the garden, but rather than disappear the little chicken invited her friends to story time. They stood a safe distance away, looked at Martha, cocked their heads to one side, and stared.

Martha looked back out of the corner of her eye without moving her head. The porch was now crowded with chickens. Chickens alone are not necessarily bad, but chickens have bad hygiene and often forget to poop only in the grass or garden... Martha put her book down, got up, and shooed the chickens off the porch.

The brooding birds ran off into the grass. Martha settled back in her seat but reading was not in her future. As soon as her eyes were focused on her book, the bad, bad, biddies returned,

Turns out they were hungry and were hoping for a handout of some kind. I do suppose that making eggs takes quite a bit of energy. (It looks like I'm going to be looking up some recipes for quiche...)

A Little More Naughtiness

You'll very soon be sick of The Naughties, but because they have been so entertaining lately they are what I have to share.

Baby reads a book. (He's growing up...)

Naughty Too decides a book makes a comfortable place to take a nap.

Baby does not agree with this plan.

Baby gives the cat a nudge.

He attempts to explain the problem to Mommy.

Getting desperate.

A desperate plea for help.

Assistance attained.

Satisfaction.

:0)

I Will?

A photo from my morning stroll through Facebook. It goes along with the Max Lucado book we've been reading. I picked the book up at the thrift store way back in October but hadn't taken the time to actually read it. Before the Cabinet Maker and I go to sleep at night we've been reading a chapter of "You'll Get Through This." Sometimes I'm not really sure I will, at least not unscathed, but God keeps offering up these little bits of encouragement.

This and That and a Bit of Work Too

I spent a good part of my afternoon working hours last week reading my own blog. I started at December 2013 and finished up with this December yesterday afternoon. I'm not sure exactly what I thought I would find or learn, but was looking for clues to who I am and how I think. I found myself often redundant. (We got Tim a small chocolate Frosty...) Perhaps I could be called "consistent"... at least in some ways. I also found my mention of struggles vague enough to leave even myself wondering what trial I was dealing with at any given time. Aside from particular phrases or brief comments that perhaps only I notice, my blog might lead one to believe that life is always rosy and I rarely struggle. Of course, that is merely a mirage.

There isn't much time to sit and write lately, and even less time to read and contemplate the blogs of others. Life has become busy and the last month has found it busier still. I'm not sure if life will ever slow down or if the momentum will continue to gather, but I am longing for a stretch of respite to reconnect. (Although I might not be totally sure exactly who or what I am reconnecting with.) (Do I have you confused yet?)

I'm working another long day today, but long days now are just 8 hours, not the grueling 12 that I did in the other facility. My routine schedule has been 8 hours Monday and Tuesday, and then 5 Wednesday, but my early relief called in sick today. My friend's arm must be feeling better because she's been back to her "normal" persnickety self this week. Yesterday she threatened to throw her juice on me because I made the suggestion that she drink it.

In other news, Joe and I continue to share a vehicle. At least for today. It is our sincere hope that he will have one of his own on the road by tomorrow. Nate's alternator has been replaced, The Cabinet Maker has his vehicles in two different shops, and we are still managing to get where we need to be at approximately the right time.

I've missed Ladies' Prayer two weeks in a row, the Christmas service, and church on Sunday. I'm looking forward to getting back into the old routine. The holidays can leave one feeling used up and drained. Thankfully, the Lord left us reading a Max Lucado book that has been meeting us where we are and encouraging each of us to keep on keeping on. He is good.

It Was a Party

Well, we had a party yesterday. There was noise and confusion and excitement. There was a magic trick or two, and stories. Jakie spilled my tea all over the place, and nobody got hurt. We ate Noodle Surprise, which is one of my dad's creations, and had cake and ice cream for dessert. When the party thinned out and the little ones were gone, we played a game of Apples to Apples with the few remaining guests. It was a good day.

I am running short on blogging time, but I did figure I'd share a few pictures from the festivities. I hope you like them as much as I did.

Aubrey wasn't so sure about Hannah reading a book in Spanish... She told Hannah to "read it right." ha ha!

Aw, she's too cute.

The Valley of Decision

I've started going to a new Bible study on Thursday evenings. We're reading "The Best Yes" by Lysa Terkeurst, examining scripture, and learning to make wise decisions, or maybe to make any decision at all. "Miss Indecision," that is me. I am scared to death of making decisions, especially big ones. If I am totally honest, sometimes I even have trouble making little decisions, like what ice cream flavor to choose... unless it's soft serve pumpkin in October, then I know exactly what to do.

Every day is laced with choices (Like what to make for dinner... ug!). I typically get by without getting too stressed out, but making a final decision on something big and important can be pretty scary. I was blessed last night to read that not all decisions have a "right" or "wrong". Sometimes both decisions are good and we just have to choose one or the other. (It's okay to have chocolate ice cream sometimes and vanilla on other days, or even to try the soft serve pumpkin, especially if it's October.)

All this to say, I'm learning, or at least trying to learn, to make a good decision and go with it. Pray, weigh the options, pray some more, know the ramifications, pray some more, and make a choice. No second guessing or looking back over my shoulder at the other options. Just trust God and go for it.
(I'll let you know how it works out...)

And for your enjoyment, some friends we found on our outside adventures last week. Sometimes going outside is the Best Yes.
:0)

Progress...

I've spent some time this past week mulling over an "assignment" from last week's Tuesday morning Bible study. After talking about how God had changed the names of some of his followers (like Simon to Peter and Saul to Paul...) we were asked to come up with a new name that God might give us. It was really a thinking question more than anything, so I opted to give it some time and wait for an answer.

Yesterday I took a short walk around Barnes and Nobel. I was feeling a little "off" and thought I'd look for a book my friend Brenda mentioned several weeks back. I knew the author, but the title I couldn't recall. I stood looking at the books on the shelf and although I knew then which book she'd spoken of, I decided to buy two; "Unglued" (because I was feeling that way) and "The Best Yes" both by Lysa TerKeurst.

Last night I read the first chapter of Unglued (because I was still feeling that way) and the emphasis of first chapter was on making gradual change in our lives, slow progress. "Progess..." Could that be my new name? I had tossed around Joy and Hope, but Progress was something new and different, or at least I thought it was... As I perused old blogs last night, something I do on rare occasions, I came across this one and there in my own comments was my answer. "Am I making progress?" I think I am, even if the progress is slow. But then that was exactly what the author of the book had spoken of, slow progress. Not an overnight change, because that rarely means a lasting difference, but a slow and steady change in my behavior and reactions.

Yeah, something to think about, something to practice, and something to model for my daughters. I think I can do this.

Ah, Success!

I did it. I climbed the trail to the top of Mount Jo. I stood at the summit and gazed at even greater mountains. It was pretty awesome... (This will be a long post but it'll be done and I can move on to other things tomorrow.)

We started out Sunday afternoon by dropping kids off at Beaver Camp in Lowville, NY and then headed north, deeper into  the Adirondack Mountains. We stopped along the way to take a few pictures...

 (Stillwater Road) We drove for about 20 miles on two dirt roads in the backwoods. That makes for one dusty car!

 Shoes on a wire over Big Moose Rd. in Eagle Bay, NY

Our first and only bear sighting. I thought I was watching a big black dog cross the road. Why "bear" never entered my mind until Priscilla said, "Look! A bear!!!" I can not tell you. The best photo of him remains in my mind where he still looks like a big black dog sauntering across the highway.

The "Super Moon" over Long Lake on Sunday evening.

We stayed in Tupper Lake the first night. The room was clean, comfortable, and very musty smelling. The owner was nice and friendly, but we decided to pay for the single night, take our things along with us, and give ourselves the option to stay somewhere else the following evening.

We did a little bit of driving in circles, not unusual when you're unfamiliar with a particular area, had a good breakfast, and headed for Mount Jo which is a little beyond Lake Placid.

 Breakfast.

 Just starting out on our mountain hike.

 On the trail. We took the longer, easier way rather than going straight up. It was a good idea. 

 Froggy friend

 Stopping midway to rest and eat a snack.

 Continuing on. That is the trail, not a creek bed.

 The reward, a majestic view from the top of Mount Jo.

 More snacks. Priscilla is excited. :0)

A fellow hiker took our picture for us, and Priscilla took theirs. I'm pretty sure that farthest peak in the corner behind me is Mount Marcy.

After our hike we headed down to Lake Placid for some walking and browsing in the shops.

 Ski jumps from the 1980 Olympics.

 The view from a balcony where we stopped for some iced coffee. This is Mirror Lake. If I hadn't been so tired from our hike, I might have thought it a grand idea to rent a boat of some kind.

 Fancy hotel next door to the coffee shop. Can't even imagine what it must cost to stay there, but I loved all the activity going on.

Upon hearing we didn't have a room for the night, a woman from one of the Lake Placid shops recommended we look into a travel lodge down the road. (this is her store) Monday evening we checked into a beautiful room with a king sized bed and went to bed before the sun set.

The next morning we ate breakfast at the Country Bear Diner (no credit cards accepted) in Wilmington, NY and headed for Whiteface Mountain.

We needed to kill some time and get the coffee out of our systems so, on the recommendation of a staff member, we climbed the trail to Stag Brook Falls. 

 Beautiful! 

 At the waterfall.

Me and Priscilla

(This is my longest post ever. Are you still there?)

 We took the gondola ride up Whiteface Mountain rather than hiking, but when we got to the top we found we were not on Whiteface like we'd thought. We were instead welcomed to the summit of "Little Whiteface Mountain." The view was astounding in spite of our mistake. That is Lake Placid in the background.

 While on the summit, Priscilla's cell phone rang (We were off the grid for most of the trip.) and she found our old friend Allan on the other end of the line. He will be visiting from Minnesota this coming weekend, in town for his 50th high school reunion. 

 Priscilla on Little Whiteface.

 Whiteface Mountain. Our destination for the next trip.

 Sign at the summit.

On our way home we stopped for ice cream in Long Lake, NY and then later for coffee in a little town called Inlet. There was a nice little bookstore there that sold coffee and I bought a book of Adirondack stories called "Leaky Boots". It was a nice end to a fun, first annual sister trip. Well, I think think it should be an annual thing anyway.