As I work through the trials of life, I want my friends to know I appreciate the love and prayers so many of you have offered and continue to offer. The cards you send, the words you say, just knowing you think of me (us) touches my heart. Whether or not you know the circumstances of our separation, your prayers matter. I wish I could say I knew exactly where to look in scripture for the answers to my many questions or our specific situation, but I know God doesn't always work the same way, or always have the same answer for everyone. Perhaps this is why I find concrete answers so elusive. It's not because He doesn't care how I respond, but because He does.
There are many days when life feels good, and then the moments when I feel as though I am drowning. The road to being healthy spiritually and emotionally has been, and still is, long. Sometimes I fear I may never reach my goal simply because it is strange and foreign. Three years ago my right knee bounced continually when I sat, and every time I laid down I could hear my blood pulsating in my ears. My knee rarely bounces now and I no longer hear that swishing in my ears when I attempt to rest, but my breath still catches, my heart still aches, and mind still races.
Tonight, although the house was empty when I arrived home, I did not go out. I climbed what my father referred to as "the wooden hill," and fell into bed at 7:20 pm. I am just a wee bit exhausted from the heat, a mild sunburn, and lack of a solid night's sleep. I woke up at 10:30 pm to use the facilities and here I am writing at midnight. Still tired and signing off.
Have a safe and happy Fourth of July!