Was That a Weekend?

Weekends go by a little bit too fast. Three day weekends would be nice. Ha ha! We'll get one at the end of May, I guess.

I'm amassing pottery. My family won't know what to do with me come Christmas. I might need to have a yard sale and see if I can sell off some of the "not-so-perfect" pieces while the weather is nice. I'm assuming the weather will get nice and stay that way at some point. Thinking positive here. About both the weather and the pottery. I'm planning on both of them improving.

I've been experimenting with glazes and shapes. The yellow salt glaze over shino is my favorite so far, but I need to work on reducing some of the bubbles in the glaze. Little bubbles add character, big bubbles leave pits. Pits are undesirable. Also undesirable are cone shaped bowls. I'm trying to round out the sides to make a prettier bowl and although I'm getting better, I still flop a good number of them. I'm also struggling to keep my pots from getting uneven and off center. Some of it happens in throwing, some in removing them from the wheel, and here and there in the trimming, if the clay body is too soft or fragile. It's a learning process.

Next time I go into the studio I'll be glazing these "pie bowls." I'm thinking I'll stick with the yellow glaze for now. Cause I'm on a yellow kick and I like it best.

The Barn Collective

Checking the archives this morning...

My car is covered with a thin a layer of wet snow this morning. No likey.

Come join the Barn Collective . Maybe Tom will fix us some breakfast.

Out To Lunch (in a manner of speaking)

Lunch hour often finds me sitting out in my car. Sometimes I eat my lunch, sometimes I take a nap, and sometimes I make a phone call. This afternoon I listened to the radio and called my favorite Bethany. I was still talking to her when I got out of the vehicle and headed back inside. Perhaps that is why I didn't hear the chime...

On my way back out to the car after work, I realized my car keys were not in my pockets. I said a quick prayer that I hadn't locked them inside and breathed a sigh of relief when I found the door unlocked. The keys were in the ignition... and the battery was dead. It didn't even click when I turned the key. The only thing still working was the clock on my dashboard.

I headed back inside to see if anyone had a set of jumper cables. My coworkers weren't sure. One thought he might, but he couldn't leave the building until the kids were in ratio. Out of desperation I asked one of the dads picking up his daughter. He thought he might, but he didn't. A mom said she had one, but she didn't know how to use it. Between the two parents, one with the cables and one with the know how, we got my car running again and I am blessed. Good thing I don't work at night in some secluded location. I'd have had to call Triple A.
:0)

The Circle of Life

Every so often during the course of years, the subject of baby doctors would come up. So and so was pregnant and looking for a good ob/gyn. Who would I recommend? I personally loved my own doctor and wouldn't hesitate to give out his name, but to the best of my knowledge no one ever chose him as a result.

Recently my own daughter has been on the search for a new doctor. She isn't expecting, but wasn't at all happy with her previous choice. She wanted someone new, did her own research, and found a doctor she really likes. This evening she asked me again about my own ob/gyn and smiled at my response. What do you know? She ended up choosing the very doctor who helped bring her into the world almost 23 years ago. He had come highly recommended, just not by her own mother. Ha ha!

I like that she chose him. I like that he was the one to deliver her and her favorite brother. And I like that he told me he wanted me to be 400% sure before I had my tubes tied. It's probably why she's here today. I just couldn't bring myself to go through with it after Ben was born, but then we didn't have Hannah, and she needed to be here.
:0)

Truthfully

Yesterday afternoon I was invited to go to the park with my daughter, her husband, and my little grandson. So often we cross paths and don't connect, but yesterday I went along. And I took my camera. While our little one explored the playground, another little one arrived. He looked at me, I looked at him, and we both thought the same thing. "I think I know you." It was Enzo, one of my little friends from work. It was a good afternoon. I'd been to church, seen my brother, and gone to the park.

I try to keep myself as busy as possible, because down time leaves me lonely and aching inside. I work, I go to church, serve in Sunday school, visit my brother every other week, attend my CoDA meeting on Mondays, and visit the pottery studio, but sometimes when I crawl into bed at night, I find myself just wanting to go home... This is one of those times.

I wish that it was simple, with no complicated issues clouding the way, but it isn't. It's not a matter of grudge bearing, unforgiveness, or me being selfish. Often what looks like unforgiveness or  selfishness to an outsider, is actually anything but. Deep inside I want what was, or what I thought was. I want to be blissfully unaware and naive. And then again I don't because that doesn't solve problems, it only perpetuates them.

Tonight I am teary and broken. The next couple weeks are going to be painful. I'm not sure I'm ready but I don't know what else to do. I pray to God He will carry me through, or reach through the heavens and lead me in a different direction if that is His will. I never wanted to be alone, but there are moments when I feel very much so. Tomorrow is a new day. There will be little ones looking for me. There will be hugs and kisses, and I will be renewed once again. What would I do without this job?

Currently

Playing along with my sister Priscilla.

Reading ... Currently reading The Great House of God by Max Lucado. I'm about halfway through a book that could have taken a couple of days but has taken more like three weeks so far. This is partially due to my napping through lunch hours and feeling generally miserable the last week or so.

Playing ... Playing with babies mornings and afternoons, doing online jigsaw puzzles at night when I should be reading that book. :0)

Watching ... Watching children grow. It's pretty amazing how fast the little ones grow and learn. I don't watch much television, but I did watch Pirates of the Caribbean with my kids last weekend.

Cooking ... Cooking lunch for children. Goulash, grilled cheese, veggie lasagna, chicken salad, sloppy joes... and banana bread. I don't cook much at home unless you count toaster waffles or yams in the microwave. I have been making a lot of tea lately...

Calling ... Usually Rachel, although I should give the hairdresser another call.

Crafting ... pottery, just pottery

Loving ... I'm loving the sunshine and warmer temperatures this weekend. Even the grass is happy. It turned green today!

Disliking ... I dislike being sick. I am sick and tired of being sick. I fear I will be getting better just in time for allergy season to be in full bloom. Oh, dear!

Celebrating ... That Jesus loves me and has a plan for my life.

Feeling ... I'm feeling tired and achy at the moment, and my nose itches, which is a bit disconcerting because of how dry it's already feeling from all the blowing and wiping I've done the past few days.

Listening ... Listening to my computer whir and the water tank click. Just looked up Rich Mullins on youtube.

Wanting ... A week off work to play.

The Barn Collective

Old and new.

Unless one is Amish, the barns going up today are cold and made of sheet metal. This is an old barn, a familiar one with a chicken coop around the back under a shed roof.

Across the road is a new barn. On Easter Sunday it  was just a gravel pad. I hear the new structure ran into some turbulent times during a recent windstorm, but that didn't stop construction for long.

Now we have a nice.... barrier? wall?  Well, it ain't pretty and the drainage issues are already wreaking some havoc on the neighbors. (I liked it better when it was old apple trees.)

I think there's a ball game over at Tom's The weather's finally spring-like.

Different

I often feel the urge to write, but today the words don't flow like they did a few years back. I know in time the words will return, but today...

My days blur together. I arrive at the daycare early and stay til supper time. I hug as many little people as ask, and a few that don't, cook the food, and keep the kitchen clean. It's a decent job. It earns me enough money to get by, provides me with much needed love and affection, and keeps me busy doing something worthwhile.  I like it. Perhaps I even love it, but I still find myself longing for a week to wander the countryside with my camera, to sit on the floor with my grandchildren, or to eat a leisurely lunch with a friend. It's a different life than what I had four years ago, different from what I expected life would bring. And it's okay.

I'm making a difference. Perhaps there are those who wouldn't think so, but to a small child away from his or her mother for hours on end, I am making a difference. When a little one reaches for me or crawls into my lap, I am blessed with the privilege of wrapping him in my arms and rendering comfort. I am not mommy and I cannot take her place, but I can offer love, security, and friendship and I think that is pretty important, even if  one little girl did tell me, "We hate goulash." ha ha!

The Barn Collective

I dug up a couple old pictures this week. My camera (although I've been dragging it around with me) has not been terribly prolific lately. I chalk it up to the gloominess of a New York spring and my job, which keeps me from gallivanting across the county.

Somewhere out in the drumlins of Wayne County I snagged these photos. It's those rides with my brother that occasionally produce a photo or two.  I'm not sure the location of the first barn, but the "ghost barn" and silo are at the foot of the Brantling Ski Slope in Sodus, NY.

I'm staying home today. The cold that began it's slow and sneaky attack last week, is in full bloom today. Guess I'll have to catch the sermon online.

The Barn Collective

My Best Friend

One day last week, on my way home from work, I was feeling teary and alone. "Lord," I said, "I don't have a best friend anymore, and I need one." He answered with a gentle reminder. "What about your sister Rachel?" he inquired, and I had to agree that she is very likely my present best friend. When I got home and turned on my computer, I found she had been messaging me at the very moment I'd been telling God I didn't have a best friend. How is that for an answer to prayer?

I was supposed to meet the Cabinetmaker yesterday afternoon, but our plans changed. I knew my sister was going to be home alone for a few hours, so I gave her a call. We decided to meet up, grab a few tacos at QDOBA, and work on a puzzle. It was a good idea. Tonight she sent me another message. "Working on the puzzle..." it said, and so I went over to help her finish.

To Sleep or Not to Sleep?

I wanted to write something, just to let you all know I'm still here, but I have nothing clever or important to share. I don't even have any fantastic photos to share. It's been a "normal" week aside from being awake for what felt like the entire time last night. Every time I'd doze off certain thoughts would return and my heart would start pounding, waking me up again and again. So, tonight I am tired, even though I took a nap on my lunch break. Perhaps I'll turn off the light grab my book (a paper one), and try to sleep better tonight.

Follow the Leader

I was the lead teacher for the "Runners" class at church today. It wasn't a total surprise, but I hadn't technically "agreed to it" ahead of time either. Mostly I was feeling overwhelmed when the request showed up online. I never answered,and secretly hoped someone else would fill in. No one did. Ha ah!

Thirteen 3-4 year old children and two teen helpers. I took the easy way out and we watched the video because I didn't look at the lesson ahead of time. We all survived, even me. I didn't have time to play blocks and build a tower with Grady like I did last week, but he still told me he loved me. How's that for a reward?

Spending an hour with a roomful of small children is not a difficult task for me. These little people, most of them, look forward to being at church. They're glad to see their friends, to play with the toys, sing a song, and watch a video. They color a picture, eat a little bag of cereal, and run around the table. Nothing too hard about that.

The Barn Collective

I borrowed a photo today. Spring is coming, eventually, and I've been thinking on new places to visit.

I've never been to The Apple Farm in Victor, NY and it looks like a cool place to visit. (The barn is from their website.) A fire destroyed their store a couple years back and I'm not even sure if the barn remains. It's a little bit of a hike from here, but also close to Ganondagan State Historic Site, which is directly across the street from where my dad's Aunt Harriet used to live.

Meet us at Tom's.

Today Was Good

It was a rather nice kind of Saturday. There were no appointments to rush off to, and nothing terribly important to complete. I didn't sleep in, but I didn't get up terribly early either. I made it to both the bank and the pottery studio.

Having a key to the studio is interesting. I let myself in to a dark and deserted building, warmed by the firing kiln and smelling like clay. I did a little of everything today; wedged some clay, glazed some pots, trimmed a few cups, and flopped some bowls. Here and there a few other shelf renters trickled in and out. It's become a comfortable place with mostly comfortable people. Stress and tensions melt away when I am there, and this is a good thing. I stayed a few hours and left feeling relaxed if not prolific.

On the way home I decided to stop and visit my sister. The puzzle we'd started Wednesday evening waited on her dining room table. She offered me a cup of tea while we finished putting it together. I didn't overstay my welcome, and headed for Wegmans and hour or so later. The Barefoot Lumberjack was on his way to Wegmans too. We met in the parking lot so he could retrieve a few tools he's left in the back of the vehicle I'm now driving.

I hadn't intended to take a nap today, but not long after my return home, I curled up on my bed and drifted off. I'll probably be awake all night doing online jigsaw puzzles. Ha ha!

Rachel and I had our picture taken at church last week. I'm sporting my allergy face from Saturday's visit to the zoo. Today I bought some new medicine to combat the pumpkin I turn into when the molds and pollen start flying. I hope it starts working soon so I can get my eyes open again.

So... Yeah.

Trying to think if anything newsworthy happened with me this week... other than picking up a toddler slide and meeting my sisters for dinner.

I didn't go to the pottery studio. Perhaps that will amaze you, but I have plans to go today, after I go to the bank. I have bowls to glaze.

I had a few teary moments this week, but my days are always filled with clamoring children, and hugs and kisses. I got to thinking about the Bucket List I made ten years ago and how small pieces of it are coming true in unexpected ways. Perhaps when I come home this afternoon I'll take some time to revamp it.

The weather is wild. There's a battle being waged and it's bringing a bit of wind. I trust that spring will win in the end, the snow will melt away, and there will be flowers. Humph. Sounds a little bit like life, doesn't it?

Have a great day!

:'(

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. Or For God will judge you as you judge others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. Matthew 7:1-2

Those are some sobering words.

Wind, a Runaway Slide, and a Dinner Date

A potpourri of weather, that's what the radio said. It was windy but pleasant when I went out for lunch this afternoon, but a few hours later the gusts were brutal and snow was dancing in the breeze. Lots of wind damage out there today. Six tractor trailers were flipped in the Rochester area! Crazy!

On my way home I picked up a runaway kid's slide... It was blowing into the neighbor's yard from the driveway of a vacant house where it spent this past winter. Yes, I took it home for my grandson, but last night I'd messaged the owner to ask her about it. She hadn't answered my note yet, so I sent her another telling her I'd "rescued" it. It didn't even need to be washed. It was already clean from the recent rain. Number Nine thinks it's fine.

This evening I met my sisters for dinner at Proietti's. Once upon a time, when we were little girls, Prioetti's was a pizza shop. There was an open counter where the cooks rolled, and hand tossed the pizza dough. It was fascinating to watch and that pizza crust was the best around. I haven't had anything like it in a long time. The owner was there at the restaurant this evening so I asked him if he still hand tosses his pizza dough. I think one day I'll splurge on a good old fashioned pizza, close my eyes, and pretend I'm back at Proietti's with Mom, Dad, and my sisters for an evening out.

The Barn Collective

Since I'm good at pushing the limits on these games, and since I have not a photo of the entire structure, I give you a small fraction of a barn. I'm loving the silo.

Plucked from my parents' slide collection, Dad wasn't going for the barn when he took the picture. He was looking to capture the dairy farmer (his Uncle Joe, in the bowler hat), the farmer's three sons (Dad's youngest cousins), and my dad's brother, my Uncle Art.

Uncle Joe, when I was a little girl, lived on a dairy farm in Caneadea, NY. (Caneadea is a town in Allegany County, New York, United States. The population was 2,542 at the 2010 census. The name is from the natives and means "where the heavens rest on earth.")  I always love that little bit of information... I'm not sure this is the farm I remember. Do farmers take their cows and move?

The Cabinetmaker and I drove past Uncle Joe's old farm a year and a half ago, but the trees hid the barn from view and neither of us were brave enough to go knocking on the door of the present farmer's house in order to get a closer look. 

I heard Easter dinner is at Tom's house this year. Come on over!