Monday, March 25, 2019

The Bag Lady

Today life feels full of loss. It's hitting hard, knocking the wind out of me, and seems there is no escape, but earlier today God reminded me that He is a giver of good things and very often one must let go of what feels important in order to gain something of greater value. I want to hold on, but He is prying my fingers loose, and didn't I ask Him years ago to do this? I knew it would likely be painful, but I had no idea what it would entail...

I went out to my car on my break this afternoon and turned on the radio. K-LOVE, because they're positive and encouraging, I am blessed by the music and the announcers make me laugh. I turned it on just in time to hear Luis Palau mention Psalm 103, and he said to read it out loud. I haven't been taking my Bible to church lately because I can't see the pages clearly and the scriptures are posted on a giant screen up front, but yesterday I left for church early and took it along. It was still in the car, so I looked up Psalm 103 and read it. Out loud.

1 Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, 
bless His holy name! 
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: 
3 Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, 
4 Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, 
5 Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

 That's just the first five verses, but I felt better after having read them. I even fell asleep for ten or fifteen minutes before it was time to head back inside, and I needed it. I did a lot of crying last night and didn't sleep well. This morning I had giant bags under my eyes. I tried laying cucumber slices over them but if the bags got any smaller I didn't notice. 

I'm sure the tears aren't done falling, but I am doing my best to keep them turned off for tonight. I need sleep. I don't need any more bags under my eyes.

(Yes, I do know that is a man, and hopefully I didn't look that bad, but he was all I had for an illustration. Many thanks to my son Nathan and the Draw This blog of years gone by.)

6 comments:

  1. I love you, Marty. I still have that puzzle on my dining room table, and some tea. I get off work at 5:30, and then we're having leftover baked spaghetti. You're welcome to come over. <3

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    1. I need to stop at the pottery studio tonight to check on my stuff. Haven't been in almost two weeks... This week is looking a little crazy but I will let you know.
      Thanks.

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  2. Martha, My heart breaks for you that you are so sad, but I pray that the Master can heal your heart and make you joyful again.

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    1. The sadness comes and goes. There is still so much to be grateful for, and God is good, He will heal my heart.
      Thank you for your prayers, Carol.

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  3. I’m so sorry for your broken heart. I hurt for you. I love you. (My iPad still won’t let me comment using my google account)

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    1. I love you too. God is working things for our good, because I love Him and am called according to His purpose. I am not crying today. At least not at the moment. I can't take baggy eyes to work every day. Just Mondays.

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