Hills, Valleys, and Vistas

Life is filled with hills and valleys, wide roads and narrow paths. Each individual must choose whether to keep pressing forward, backtrack to an alternative route, or forge a new trail. Life is give and take. No one has enough to give without accepting, and taking without a willingness to share creates deficits in ourselves and others. 

 

I am entirely grateful for those along my path. To those who nurtured and loved me while I learned to stand, toddle and run, I will be forever grateful. To those who gently encouraged me across difficult terrain, thank you! And to yet others who turned me in slightly different directions, pointed out new horizons, and advocated that I stretch my understanding, I am incredibly indebted.

 

To those who believe your subtle words and actions aren't making a difference, let me assure you they are not falling on deaf ears or blind eyes. Rest when you are weary, take shelter in the storm, nourish your soul and keep forging on. Every smile, every nod of the head, every word of comfort and consolation make an impact. Every child you inspire, every friend you reassure, every stranger you hearten makes the world brighter. Together we have the power to make the world a brighter place.

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"I'm processing," I told her. She'd walked into the room where I was sitting on the edge of the couch folding laundry, two silent tears rolling down my face... Sometimes I process by writing. Sometimes the processor is set to "whir" and that is all it can do.

It rained all day, a continual, misty rain that managed to drench everything. Hannah worked four hours this afternoon, Sergio left to move a piece of company equipment and came home again, and I felt strangely unanchored and out of sorts. I went down to the lake for a minute. (The tree and a 15 year old girl were struck by lightening on Saturday afternoon. Thanks to the quick thinking of others present, she was given CPR and survived. I hope the tree does too.)

I've gotten a pretty decent suntan this summer. Even my legs are slightly tanned. That's saying a lot since they haven't seen much sunlight since I was about 8 years old. After 9 years of spending way too much time inside, I took full advantage of my chance at a summer. I only wish camping had been part of the package. I miss camping.

The Presidential race is picking up steam. It is fascinating in many ways, and oh so ugly in others. I have so many thoughts that I won't share here... LOL!

Practice

I practiced being home alone today. My family was gone overnight and I had nothing pressing for my time and attention today. I slept in, read the book my sister lent me, played with some slabs of clay, and met my beautiful daughter for a burrito on her meal break at dinner-ish time. I thought I might take an evening walk, but dark clouds blocked out the sunset and rain poured down. I decided to stay inside instead.

The flowers are from yesteryear...

August

I like to call it "Summer's Second Half" because the children here don't go back to school until September. It's been a hard week and a good week all rolled up together. A Swiss Cake Roll Kind of Week. 

 I can't remember Sunday...

On Monday I took the boys to the park and when they didn't know, I called my son Nate to see if he was anywhere nearby with his little people. I had to smile when I heard Idris shout, "Wesley!" because I could hear the smile in his excitement at seeing his cousin. 

Tuesday was rough. One of my grands had a major meltdown. The child was totally out of control which left me feeling totally helpless... These events trigger an anger deep inside and eventually I was sobbing. We are working on solutions to help this child regain focus and learn to regulate emotions. This is hard. So hard.

My Wednesday morning Zoom meeting with my therapist came at exactly the right time. I was grateful to have someone to talk it out with. By Wednesday afternoon I was ready to meet my cousins at the park where we set up our pottery stand. It was a beautiful evening of passersby and music. When it was time to go home I found I'd left my car keys in the ignition with the AC fan turned on and my battery was completely drained. A kind gentleman helped me out by jumping my car and I was able to get home without incident.

I was thoroughly humiliated Thursday morning when Sergio informed me, with a slight smile in his voice, that my car was still running. I'd meant to leave it run for "ten minutes" after I returned home and had totally forgotten. (What a dork! LOL!!!) I was happy to find I still had enough gas in the tank to get to Bethany's for the day. The kids had a fabulous afternoon playing in the Rickety Tree House. After dinner I called my friend Cindy and was able to stop over and visit her for an hour. She is one of my forever, since we were babies, friends and is fighting an inoperable type of liver cancer. Oh, how I love her...

Today was hot and humid, especially after it rained. It was a good day to watch a movie. I was just making an afternoon cup of coffee when my phone rang and I heard a distressed son on the other end of the line. He'd had a bicycle accident on his way to work a few hours earlier and his foot was in terrible pain, so much that he thought it might be broken. I packed the boys, Idris and Killian, into the car and we took off to find Uncle Joe and take him to Urgent Care. The foot is not broken, but badly sprained. He is greatly relieved but still in much pain. That pair of crutches he has standing in a corner of his apartment are coming in handy.