Feeling Accomplished

It's done. I have a new filling where an old one used to be. It was entirely exhausting but I survived.

Dental phobia is not fun. I have put the appointment out of my mind for the past couple of weeks. The work had to be done, and worrying wasn't going to change it. The only sign of anxiety was my lack of focus and lowered patience level today. I realized this when I thought to myself, "Wow, Martha! You're amazingly calm..." followed by, "Oh, wait... Maybe that's why you feel totally detached from this job today..." I was customarily disconnected from the anxiety on the outside, yet churning on the inside where even I couldn't see. A little dissociation perhaps?

The appointment went well, even if it did take multiple needle pokes to finally numb my jaw and tooth enough to complete the task. (I lost count of how many but it was at least six.) I knew enough, thanks to a good memory and my sister's comment about her own tooth (on the opposite side of her mouth) that "never gets numb" to speak up.  I'll admit that I didn't like her comment. She was supposed to reassure me, tell me that everything would be fine and I wouldn't feel a thing. But she didn't, and it was probably a good thing because that was on my mind when I walked into the office today and instead of saying nothing, I told them how that tooth did not like to go to sleep. I told them about the dentist who filled it when I was a child and my fear of having it worked on, and found them to be very patient and kind. Even after multiple attempts and a very numb lip, I could still feel when the drill hit a certain spot, but it was tolerable, mostly because I knew they had done everything possible and were still being gentle and kind. Finally the drilling was over and the cavity filled. It's been 3 1/2 hours since I left the office and I still have a numb spot on my lip. Ha ha!

I had so much Novocaine and was so exhausted that I felt a little drunk getting out of the chair. I actually had to catch myself on the wall as I rounded the corner, but I quickly recovered and drove home without getting pulled over for a sobriety test. LOL! I get to go back Monday to have my teeth cleaned. I can't wait! Ha ha!